Re-Living the Journey

Here I am at 230am reading all of my posts that I have written in this blog.  From start to now. 

Why I decide to read them all I'm not sure but I was crying along as I was re-reading all of my posts.  I was picking out my grammatical errors and just leaving them to see if anyone else can find them!!  And knowing how I felt at the time I wrote them and how I'm feeling now re-reading them.  The odd one that I was crying with when I wrote it I didn't cry now, those feelings have subsided knowing that all of this is over and the irrational thought have gone.  But then the others that I had cried over, I am finding that I am doing the same thing again, maybe not the the same extent but none-the-less crying again.

The one spot that I fund the hardest to read and that I cried the most, isn't when I blogged about my mom passing away it was the post when I spoke about Lucas' surgery and the way my dad cried.  I'm tearing just thinking about it.  But up until that time this was the 2nd time I had seen him cry, but now having lost my mother, and seeing him cry for days, now the tears come to me, I realize how having him shed those tears over my son is the same as when we knew my mom was going to die.  It was the relief that he is ok and you can definitely say I'm happy that, that part of the day is over with.

I really hope that this has helped some people to realize they are not alone in their own journeys with their little ones and that even though the days are so hard that you have to cry from the time you get up in the morning to the time you go to bed, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it will get better.

I also just found this quote that could work with a couple things in my life right now:

“Set backs are bumps in the road, they are not the end of the roads.”
― Bob Greene, Bob Greene's Total Body Makeover